I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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