I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
