playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
