we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
