well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
