He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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