I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
birth control should be required to get into college
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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