I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
