so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
