break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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