Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
