Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
