I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
