Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
