I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize