I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
