i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
