oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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