i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
do nipples grow back?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
