I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
