Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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