I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize