after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
