one two three fourrrrnication!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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