so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
