Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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