I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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