Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
