i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
