If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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