That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
