um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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