Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im holly from the hills drunk
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
