There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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