Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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