quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize