Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
