She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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