I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
