margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We talked him into tasing himself.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
