I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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