his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
