Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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