I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
