Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
