Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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