'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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