i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Randomize
