Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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