I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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