Porn is love you can see.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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