That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
