My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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