Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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