If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
