new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize