I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
