Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
