remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
