"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
