Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
