You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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