So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
