My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
